sarcastic

outside: a gift from god
inside: congratulations!

outside: i was planning on playing computer games tonight
inside: but the thought of your hot ass might get in the way.

outside: even if we are just co-workers…
inside: you brighten up my miserable day.

outside: i am fucking full of inner wisdom
inside: blank

outside: go fuck yourself
inside: you seem to be handling this very well

outside: happy belated birthday
inside: self absorption sure is time consuming

outside: i’m kinda having a hard time concentrating…
inside: blank

outside: if i were a bobcat…
inside: i would disembowel you with tenderness.

outside: they say that your partner is a reflection of your true self…
inside: and i’m sorry

outside: you may be a year older…
inside: but you can barely notice.