hot cards

outside: a celebration is nigh
inside: let’s suck helium and do shots!

outside: a gift from god
inside: congratulations!

outside: you are always always in my thoughts
inside: blank

outside: the thought of losing you makes me want to barf
inside: blank

outside: soon the special day will come…
inside: until then we will brace ourselves. congratulations!

outside: i wanna fuck you in a kayak or canoe
inside: blank

outside: i was planning on playing computer games tonight
inside: but the thought of your hot ass might get in the way.

outside: congratulations
inside: you may now have sexual intercourse

outside: you so pretty you make my eyes crooked
inside: blank

outside: dearest brother
inside: you stink and i love you